I'm the one with the head wound?

Pony food to me: Your head wound hat is sexy.
(Pony’s my friend... not some sleaze, just to clarify)

Sexy figure... skating

Squishy brain: You are gross. That is disguisting, you are a pervert. That comment about figure skating, you little freak. Get away from me!
(I never got to hear what Dolphin had to say about figure skating, but I'm guessing I don't actually want to.)

Racis... oh, wait.

Dolphin armpits: All white people look the same.
(I'll just confirm that, yes, Dolphin is white)

Creepy cougars

Yummy hospitals: Aren’t year sevens so cute?
Pony food: I hate them. We should kill them all.
Me: I think they’re funny, the way they run around everywhere and all.
Yummy hospitals: No they’re really cute.
Me: Puppy dog cute?
Yummy hospitals: No, like sexy cute. Wouldn’t you date a year seven?
Dolphin armpits: No. I wouldn’t. You need help.
Pony food: I forbid you from being a cougar.
(Please note: Year sevens = 12 /13 year olds. We are year tens = 15/16 year olds.)

Princess Dolphin Armpits

Pony food to Dolphin armpits: I dare you to put that in your hair.
Squishy brain: That’s pretty hot.
Pony food: That’s hot as.
Squishy brain: It’s actually kind of princess peach.
Dolphin armpits: I hate you.
(Pony dared him to put a pink bow in his hair, btdubs, and it was pretty hot)

Watch out, Elizabeth Taylor!

Squishy brains: I wish I had purple eyes.
Dolphin armpits: Purple? You'd look weird.
Squishy brains: I'd look awesome.
Dolphin armpits: You'd get sick of it after a while.
Squishy brains: Why? Purple would be awesome.
Dolphin armpits: People would want to eat your eyeballs.
(later on, Squishy told me that my eyes looked purple... I'm a little scared now)

Punny goodness

Pony food: Do you have any contractions?
Dolphin armpits: No, I'm not pregnant.
(Ba doom kish!)

Hurting?

Dolphin armpits: Does it hurt?
Squishy brain: No.
Dolphin armpits: In that case, go nuts.
Squishy brain: OW! ... Well, it’s meant to hurt. Punch, punch, punch.
Dolphin armpits: Bad, bad, bad [squishy brain], bad.
Squishy brain: Hit me.
Dolphin armpits: I’m not going to hit you.
Squishy brain: I hit you all the time.
Dolphin armpits: I’m a mainly man, I can take it.
Pony food (joining the conversation): Oh! So you’re comfortable enough with your masculinity to wear a pink bow.
Dolphin armpits: No, I’m comfortable enough with my masculinity to screw around with a pink bow, not wear it.
(I’m not sure what Squishy was doing there that hurt her...)